Instagram stories. Magazine covers. TikTok filters. 

Sometimes it feels like everything around you prescribes an aesthetic. You can’t open your phone or walk down the street without seeing an edited version of the “perfect” body — and feeling like you aren’t enough because you can’t match it. 

But that kind of perfection doesn’t exist. And it’s compounding a problem that decades of diet culture and Photoshop have already drilled into people’s minds: an “I hate my body” mindset that makes it nearly impossible for many to truly practice self-love.

The rise of social media has made it harder than ever to learn how to love your body. But it’s a challenge that’s well worth the payoff. We have tips to help you fall in love with your physical self — stretch marks and all. 

The negative body image epidemic

“The real cost of beauty ideals,” a 2019 study spearheaded by Dove, found that body dissatisfaction severely affects 16% of Americans ages 10 and up — and the report says that this figure is probably even higher.

That percentage may sound relatively small, but it represents 45 million people. 

Dove and its co-researchers at Harvard University estimate the economic and social cost of body dissatisfaction to be a whopping $305 billion in the US alone. That’s likely another conservative estimate since 23% of American plastic surgeons report that their business doubled post-pandemic. Not only is that dissatisfaction growing, but more people are taking action to change the way they look.

If you’re one of the millions who struggle with body dissatisfaction, it’s important to remember that you’re far from alone. And while it’s okay to spend time and money addressing the parts of your body that you dislike, learning how to love your body will bring you a level of peace that money just can’t buy.

How to learn to love your body in 12 steps

Feeling discontent with the way you look is common, but it doesn't have to define your self-worth. A positive body image comes from self-discovery, self-compassion, and personal growth — a journey anyone can go on. 

Here are some valuable steps to help you nurture a positive relationship with yourself and find beauty in your unique attributes:

1. Practice self-compassion 

First, be kind to yourself, both physically and emotionally. Recognize that your body is constantly changing and evolving and that imperfections are a natural part of being human. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would extend to a friend or family member — if you wouldn’t say it to them, don’t say it about yourself. Remember you’re someone else’s loved one. Show yourself the kindness you would others.

2. Challenge negative thoughts 

Your thoughts are powerfully and directly intertwined with your emotions and actions. When negative thoughts about your body arise, you might not even realize the other ways they manifest in your life.

When those ideas come up, consciously challenge them. When you look in the mirror, replace self-criticism with positive affirmations, even if those words don’t feel true for you at that moment. Focus on your strengths and qualities that go beyond physical appearance. Let self-love become a habit.

3. Surround yourself with positive influences 

Be mindful of the media and individuals that shape your perception of beauty. Seek out body-positive role models, follow accounts that promote diverse body types, and engage in conversations that celebrate self-love and acceptance. If you find that someone doesn’t match your values, just hit unfollow.

4. Practice mindful eating

When you aren’t comfortable with your body, it’s easy to fall into eating habits that don’t give it the nourishment it needs. But shift your focus to mindful eating. Listen to your body's hunger and fullness cues. It’s easier said than done, but treat food as a source of enjoyment and fuel rather than a means to control your body shape.

5. Engage in physical activity for joy

Move your body in ways that bring you joy and make you feel good. Explore various forms of exercise until you find something that resonates with you. If you hate jogging, don’t jog. If dancing makes you smile, dance! Whatever releases those endorphins and makes you feel strong. The goal isn’t to change your body, but to nurture your physical and mental health.

6. Cultivate body appreciation

You might scroll on TikTok or binge-read your favorite book to relax and unwind. Those relax the mind, but what about your body? For some physical self-love, engage in activities that allow you to connect with your body, such as taking relaxing baths, practicing yoga, or treating yourself to a massage.

7. Practice gratitude

Your body is what powers you through the day and lets you live life the way you want to — so focus on what it can do rather than how it looks. Acknowledge the things your body enables you to do, like walking, hugging your best friend, or engaging in hobbies you love. Recognize the marvel of your body's capabilities and how it supports you in living a fulfilling life. 

8. Surround yourself with support

Seek out communities or support groups that focus on body positivity and self-love. Share your experiences, challenges, and successes with others who can provide understanding and encouragement along your journey. Sometimes, hearing someone else tell you you’re beautiful has more of an impact than you think.

9. Embrace self-care rituals

Engage in self-care practices that help you feel good about yourself, such as practicing a skincare routine and wearing clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. Making some time every day to dedicate just to you. That could be a 10-minute stretch or an hour-long bubble bath. It’s up to you.

10. Shift the focus

Instead of constantly evaluating and critiquing your looks, shift your focus to the things that matter. Cultivate meaningful relationships, pursue personal goals, and engage in activities that ignite your passion. Remember that your worth extends far beyond your physical appearance.

11. Masturbate

Regular masturbation has a lot of benefits that extend way beyond fun. The positive side effects include reducing stress, relieving tension, and preventing anxiety and depression. Masturbating can also enhance your sex life, which is a great way to feel more confident.  

Masturbation should be part of your sexual exploration, but spice things up with things like audio erotica, guided masturbation, and even ethical porn to discover new sources of arousal that you can use on your own or with a partner. 

12. Tap into your sexuality

If you challenge yourself to explore and enjoy your body, you’re likely to find that your sex life gets healthier as you gain confidence. Tell a partner what makes you feel attractive and self-assured, and if you don’t know yet, explore those feelings together. You might surprise yourself. 

Start your self-love journey with Quinn

Learning to love your body is an ongoing process that requires patience and self-compassion. And it’s hard to put into practice. But we’re here to help you embark on a journey of self-acceptance, body positivity, and a deep appreciation for the amazing person you are, inside and out. Remember: You already have the perfect body, because it's yours.

To access thousands of audio stories and guided sessions, download the Quinn app for iOS or Android.