If you have little to no sex drive whatsoever, there’s nothing wrong with you. You might just be asexual, or ace for short.

Asexuality is real and valid. It’s a sexual orientation defined by a little or a lack of sexual attraction, and it deserves its place next to orientations like heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. 

If you've ever asked yourself, "Am I asexual?" you've come to the right place. We can’t tell you who you are, but we can explain the ins and outs of this identity so you can decide whether it feels right for you.

Asexual: Definition 

Asexuality is a distinct sexual orientation. It's characterized by little to no sexual attraction toward any gender — but it’s not black and white. 

Asexuality shifts broadly between individuals. The different types of asexuality include varying levels of sexual interest and attraction, from zero sexual attraction to degrees of sexual attraction. For some people, this orientation is an all-encompassing lack of desire for solo or partnered sex, and for others, it's specifically a lack of sexual desire for other people, meaning they still love to masturbate and express their sexuality alone. Some also identify as aromantic, meaning they don’t experience romantic attraction. 

This orientation is more about a person's internal feelings rather than external experience of sexual attraction and passion. Some asexual people avoid sexual activity altogether, and others engage in sex despite not actively desiring it. If you’ve had sex, or even enjoyed sex in the past, you could still be asexual. It’s all about how you feel now.

8 signs you’re asexual 

Asexuality isn’t an illness, so there are no asexual “symptoms.” It’s a spectrum, and experiences can vary, but some signs might indicate you're ace. While these signs aren’t definitive, they can provide helpful insight into this sexual orientation to help you recognize and categorize your own feelings.

1. Lack of sexual attraction

If you're ace, you may recognize that some people are good-looking, but you don't find them sexually attractive. This is usually consistent throughout your life experiences and not limited to specific times, scenarios, or different sexual and non-sexual turn-ons. It's a fundamental aspect of how you experience other people. 

2. Disinterest in sexual activities 

Asexuality involves persistent disinterest in sexual activities. This could manifest in different ways, like feeling satisfied with a sexless relationship or being in situations where you have the opportunity to have sex but feel no desire to do it. This may ring true both in and outside of romantic relationships.

You may feel completely indifferent or actively uncomfortable about the idea of sexual contact with others — in a way that has nothing to do with past experiences. If you’ve had a negative sexual experience and don’t want to have sex again, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re asexual. It could just be a roadblock.

3. Preference for emotional intimacy 

Many asexuals prefer and value deep emotional connections with others over physical or sexual relations. You might find these connections more fulfilling than sex, and this preference for emotional intimacy may be a distinct, consistent pattern in your relationships. 

4. Lack of sexual arousal and fantasies 

Sexual arousal, sexual fantasies, and thoughts about engaging in sex might be rare or completely absent for you. This isn't occasional; it's a fundamental and consistent part of your sexuality. You might find that situations that arouse other people, like making out with someone or listening to audio erotica, don’t turn you on at all. 

5. Limited interest in dating 

Pursuing casual connections and romance might not be your cup of tea, especially if these connections include a sexual component. You might still love to make friends and have deep conversations, but never in a sexual way. It’s not about social anxiety, but a lack of interest in sexual activities. 

6. Focus on other forms of love  

If you're ace, you might appreciate and prioritize forms of love and attraction that aren't sexual or romantic. Instead of finding a life partner in the future, you might imagine living life alone or with a few close friends around you. You could still want to have kids, just not with a sexual partner.

7. Little to no desire to masturbate  

Masturbation may not be appealing or necessary to you, and you might not even mind the idea of being celibate. This disinterest in masturbation is consistent and unrelated to external life factors like stress, sexual repression, and medical conditions, which can cause some people to abstain from sex. You just don’t feel the need or urge to touch yourself.

8. Non-identification with other sexual orientations 

Maybe you’ve tried to identify your sexuality and just aren’t sure who you are. You’ve thought about whether you’re gay, demisexual, or queer, but you don’t feel like any of those orientations describe you well. You’re not sexually attracted to any gender under any circumstances.

Keep in mind that there’s a difference between romantic and sexual attraction. You could be asexual and still fall in love with people of any gender. But if you don’t find a sense of identity in a romantic orientation like demiromantic, panromantic, or alloromantic, you might be aromantic as well as asexual. 

Asexuality versus low libido  

Human sexuality is diverse, and asexuality and low libido aren’t one and the same. Asexuality is about consistently experiencing little to no sexual attraction to people of any gender. Ace people might still have sex — and they might even get wet, get hard, or orgasm — but they aren’t sexually attracted to anyone. 

Low libido is having low or no desire for sex. Different from asexuality, people with low libido experience sexual attraction, but their desire or ability to get in the mood to act on this attraction is down or has declined. Low libido is related to many causes, including relationship dynamics, medications, and health issues. 

For people with low libido, their change in sexual desire is often a source of concern or frustration for them and their partners. The key difference between asexuality and low sexual desire is people with low libido often want to want sex, or they’ve had thriving sex lives in the past, while people who identify as ace don't feel this way. 

Do asexual people fall in love?

If you're asexual, dating and falling in love isn't off the table just because of your identity. While asexuality is defined by a lack of sexual attraction, this doesn't inherently exclude romantic interest. Ace people are perfectly capable of being romantically attracted to others and forming healthy, meaningful romantic relationships, including falling in love — just without the sexual attraction.  

It may be surprising, but many asexual people experience deep romantic feelings and establish strong emotional connections with others. These relationships can be just as profound and fulfilling as relationships that include sexual attraction and activity. While asexual people may not feel sexually attracted to their partners, they can still engage in all the emotional, intellectual, and romantic aspects of a relationship. Some asexual people also choose to have sexual relationships, with reasons ranging from the desire for physical closeness to satisfying their non-ace partners. 

Because asexuality is a spectrum, romantic attraction can vary widely among ace people — just like it does among straight and queer people. At the end of the day, romantic love isn't defined by sexual attraction. 

Explore your sexual orientation with Quinn 

If you're not quite sure how you identify, the Quinn platform is a safe and unique space for exploring your preferences. Whether you're seeking a deeper understanding of your own orientation or connection with romantic stories mirroring your experiences, Quinn is happy to help. 

Quinn is an audio erotica app created by women, for everyone. To access thousands of narrated sex stories, playlists, and guided masturbation sessions from a diverse range of Creators, download the Quinn app for iOS or Android today.