Sometimes, date night needs spicing up. When you’re tired of the usual tricks and hot content, you might search for an activity that’s more outside the “box.” Have you ever heard of "prostate milking" or "prostate massage"? This sexual act is all about prostate stimulation, an exciting way to feel pleasure that's becoming more mainstream.

Learning how to massage the prostate correctly can lead to prostate orgasm, a mindblowing and oft-overlooked way to climax. Whether you're looking to know how it feels for yourself or to test the waters with your partner, exploring this area of the body is a great way to elevate solo or partnered sex.

Here's the nitty-gritty on must-try prostate stimulation techniques.

What’s the prostate? 

The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located just below the bladder in cisgender men and some trans and non-binary folk. This part of the reproductive system produces fluid that nourishes and protects sperm, mixing within the testicles to become semen. Because it's located directly in front of the rectum, you can easily stimulate the prostate through the rectal wall.

How to find the prostate 

While seemingly elusive, finding the prostate is easy enough with some guidance. Start by washing your hands and, if needed, trimming your nails. To find the prostate from the outside, apply gentle pressure to the back half of the perineum — the skin between the testicles and anus. If you feel a soft or rubbery bulge, that's the prostate. 

To find the prostate from the inside, gently insert a lubricated finger or prostate toy into the rectum. Curl your finger or press the toy toward the front of the body, similar to giving a G-spot massage. The prostate is 2–3 inches inside the rectum and feels like a rounded, malleable bump that’s slightly firm while still a bit spongy. Go slowly, be gentle, and if you're massaging your partner's prostate, check in regularly about how they're feeling.

What does a prostate orgasm feel like? 

The potential benefits of masturbating or engaging in sex with prostate stimulation include intense, full-body orgasms. While most describe it as substantially different from penile orgasm, sensations vary.

A common description is that prostate massage causes a powerful orgasm that starts deep inside and radiates outward. For those with penises, the sensation is less localized to the penis, instead enveloping the entire pelvis. The waves of pleasure can even extend to other parts of your body, such as your arms and legs, making your muscles shake and your toes curl.

Some people experience prostate orgasms as a prolonged rush of euphoria that can happen again quite quickly after, unlike penile orgasms, which typically have a longer refractory period. The experience is immensely pleasurable, and there can be multiples, but not every prostate orgasm will make you ejaculate. 

How to have a prostate orgasm 

Learning to have or give a prostate orgasm requires patience, consent, and clear communication. Whether you're new to the experience or looking to hone your technique, proper preparation and knowledge are key. These tips for both receiving and giving will increase your chance of hitting the prostate jackpot.

For the receiving partner 

Be aroused and relaxed 

Before you dive in, engage in foreplay to set the mood and make sure you're fully aroused. Being turned on makes the prostate easier to find, and feeling relaxed can make the experience better because it loosens up your muscles.

Clean up prior to sex 

Comfortable prostate massage starts with cleaning. Anal douching isn’t likely necessary and can actually damage the rectal lining, making you more susceptible to disease, so consider sticking to a simple external wash with a gentle soap.

Use an oil or silicone-based lubricant 

When it comes to anal play, more lube is always a great idea. Use an oil or silicone-based lubricant to enhance your experience, reduce unpleasant friction, and make insertion and movement more pleasurable. Avoid water-based lube, as it’s designed for vaginal use and the low pH levels might cause infection when used anally. 

Empty your bladder and bowels 

Always use the washroom before prostate play to make stimulation more comfortable and gain personal peace of mind.

For the giving partner 

Trim your fingernails

To avoid scratches, pain, and infections cut and clean your nails before massaging your partner's prostate. Not worrying about a random nick will help both of you relax.

Use protection 

Place a condom over your finger before you penetrate your partner. This is hygienic, as it reduces concerns about harmful bacteria, and the smooth surface makes stimulating the prostate easier. But check what type of lube, if any, is on the condom, to avoid irritation.

Try different techniques 

Stimulating the prostate can result in many different sensations. Try techniques like consistent pressure, gentle circular motions, or in-and-out penetration to see which feels best for your partner. Check in with them periodically to see if they want you to switch things up.

Prostate stimulation techniques

There are many different ways to achieve a prostate orgasm. You can use your fingers or a toy on your partner(s) or yourself, and there’s quite a selection of prostate-specific sex toys on the market. Popular prostate toys include massagers, vibrators, and strap-ons. Experimenting with different techniques can give you a more comprehensive understanding of what feels good and more satisfying sexual experiences.

Here are a few common techniques that vary in approach and intensity.

With your fingers 

• Circling: Move your finger in small, controlled circular motions around the prostate from inside the anus. Try different speeds and pressures.

• Doorbell: Imagine pressing a doorbell inside the body. Press the prostate gently and repeatedly to stimulate it, and try different touches. This works from outside the anus as well.

• Come hither: This technique is similar to the popular G-spot vaginal massage technique. Insert your finger into the anus and use a beckoning motion to directly target the prostate, repeating the action.

• Vibration: Rapidly tap your fingers against the prostate to simulate vibration.

With a sex toy 

• Pressure: Some toys are designed to apply consistent pressure to the prostate. Try using more or less force to see what feels best. 

• Depth: Experiment with toys of different lengths to stimulate the prostate from various angles.

• Sensation: From smooth to ribbed and beyond, different toys provide diverse feelings. Some even come with an external stimulator for the perineum. 

• Vibration: Many prostate toys offer various levels of built-in vibration. Play with these settings to find what works for you.

Achieve prostate orgasm with Quinn's help 

For some people, achieving orgasm in a new way is more accessible with audio or visual help. Thankfully, Quinn offers a broad range of ethical sexual content to help you explore prostate stimulation and climax, whether for the first time, alone, or partnered. 

To access thousands of audio stories and guided sessions, download the Quinn app for iOS or Android.