Sex
The Ins and Outs of Erotic Meditation
Mindfulness meets sensuality during erotic meditation. Here’s everything you need to know about the benefits and how to try it.
By Quinn · December 11, 2023 · 5 min read
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There are many forms of meditation, all meant to help you calm down and feel more zen.
But only one of them connects your mind and your sexuality: erotic meditation. Also called sexual meditation, masturbation meditation, or orgasmic meditation, it’s a unique type of mindfulness that helps you explore your sexual self. For some, it results in electrifying sex and orgasms — and those benefits are only the beginning.
Sensual meditation is an exciting way to dig deep into intimacy and take a spicy step outside your traditional meditation app. Here’s how to get out of your head and into your body.
Erotic meditation is a mindfulness practice that encourages you to focus on your body’s sensations during masturbation or sex. This could take the form of guided masturbation, a quiet and mindful solo session, or a slow and steady experience with a partner. Think of it as a regular meditation session that involves your body and sexual pleasure.
While the moniker might imply that orgasm is the end goal, that's not the case. The purpose of erotic meditation is to experience a deep connection with yourself and your body, enjoying the journey rather than racing to the finale. The practice is all about pure pleasure — sidestepping distractions to focus on sensations.
Erotic meditation is a fusion of sensual pleasure and focused mindfulness, bridging the gap between mental and physical. The goal is to anchor you in your body and bring your full attention to what you’re feeling. It's an escape from outside stimuli, an intimate sanctuary that encourages wellness and self-love — so if you’re struggling to stay present, erotic meditation could be just what you need.
Studies actually show that mindfulness and meditation can offer the reflective process you need to solve certain sexual roadblocks, like low libido, porn addiction, or trauma recovery. And people who meditate more generally experience better mental health and enjoy the positive sexual function that comes with that.
Erotic meditation is also a self-care practice that enhances self-acceptance and self-awareness, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling sense of intimacy (with or without a partner). It's about reclaiming, celebrating, and understanding your sensuality and sexuality — and anyone can benefit from that.
Erotic meditation offers various practices for individuals and couples alike to connect more deeply in and out of the bedroom. To get started, try one of these approaches to erotic meditation:
Traditional erotic meditation is typically a solo or partnered session that can range from a few minutes to a few hours long. Some people choose to listen to a guided sexual meditation if they're on their own, and others try to focus on a specific topic, like loving their bodies or trying to have a nipple orgasm.
The best part of erotic meditation is that there’s no instruction manual. Your session can be whatever you want it to be. Approach it with an open, non-judgmental mindset, and remember to take deep breaths and connect to all your senses. Then you can touch yourself, play with a partner, or spend time trying to quiet your mind — whatever works for you.
This partnered erotic meditation technique promotes meditative physical closeness. To try it, have your partner sit cross-legged and nestle yourself in their lap facing them, or vice versa. You could also try a back-to-back position. Just choose something comfortable that fosters skin-to-skin contact.
Then, turn on some relaxing music or an audio meditation session for you both to follow. It’s a good idea to set a timeframe beforehand so you both know when to stop and start without interrupting each other. This method isn’t about sexual contact, but feeling each other’s bodies as a foreplay practice or simply a way to feel closer.
This erotic meditation practice is similar to mutual masturbation, but much more mindful. The idea is that both partners masturbate while meditating and enjoying one another's presence. Consider all five senses and what they're communicating to you and your partner. The goal is to experience pleasure while also cultivating awareness of your partner's. You may orgasm, but you also might not, and either way is okay.
Trying erotic meditation requires a bit of preparation. Getting into the right mindset and setting the mood will help you have the best experience possible, and always remember that orgasm is a possibility — but not a must. To try erotic meditation, follow these steps:
Dedicate a specific time in your day for erotic meditation. This helps you avoid interruptions or rushing through it. Whether you choose the calm early hours of the morning or the quiet time of late night, decide on a period that feels right.
Dim the lights, light a scented candle, and turn on a playlist to create some sensual ambiance. Choose a comfortable spot, like your bed or a cozy chair, and dress in clothes that don't feel restrictive and are easy to remove or shift. If you're with a partner, cuddle to get cozy and start talking about what you’d both like from the experience.
Turn off your phone, close your laptop, and make sure any roommates or family members won’t interrupt you. The last thing you want is to cut your session short unexpectedly.
If you're using an erotic guided meditation, select it and have it ready to play. There are dozens of options available online, so research ahead of time to see what looks or sounds good. Set the volume to a comfortable level so you can follow along easily. Noise-canceling headphones are a plus.
Experiment to find out what works best for you, your body, and your partner if you're meditating with one. Erotic meditation isn't one-size-fits-all, and what works for some people doesn't work for others. Work up to more extended periods and focus on the journey instead of the destination. You can also try pairing erotic meditation with kegel exercises, sex toys, or vaginal massage.
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